Lady Gaga

It seems these days all are in a tizzy over Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta– better known as “Lady Gaga”. But with an image and sound that approximates one part Alison Goldfrapp, and another, Madonna, it is somewhat understandable (even if perhaps not justifiable). For mainstream America, her extremely edgy (yet obviously contrived) fashion sensibility makes her a style innovator to the indiscriminant eye– despite the fact that she neither invented the wheel, nor the “hair bow“.

But then, what exactly is her allure? I mean, she isn’t rail-thin (the way we usually like out celebs), and though she is attractive, she’s not stunningly beautiful. She refused to fully commit to the haircut, and she doesn’t seem too fond of wearing bottoms. Perhaps it starts with the fact that (unlike the average pop star) she can actually sing. Love her or hate her, the girl has got a voice, not to mention she’s got some key stroking ability. But where do we go from there? I mean, sure, the majority of America can barely pronounce Gareth’s last name. So of course one would expect them to be mesmerized by Beyoncé’s new “avant-garde” wardrobe. But for the rest of us, there’s something a bit jarring about this new celebrity trend of “going hard” for no particular reason.

Because look, there are certain things in this world that work in harmony with the balance of the universe. Those things include Bjork, M.I.A., and Goldfrapp in quirky get-ups. Ciara, Beyoncé, and Keri Hilson all sporting Brian Lichtenberg? A non-sequitur to say the least. The thing is, the fashionable needn’t be told what’s “de rigeur” these days. The “in the know” know labels like MTV reality shows know ditsy, L.A. blondes. So we don’t need to have a mainstream act legitimatize (and detract form the exclusivity of) our favorite designers and runway looks. So when I see Lady Gaga’s hair bow, I think: is this NOT deja vu? Because I’m quite certain that I’ve seen it a thousand times before. Like once on Paris Hilton (who ironically is not copycat-ing Gaga), circa 2005, and on Ashley Olsen in Timothy White’s book of pin up photography. Even Project Runway contestant Alison Kelly gave it a whirl right before she got cast off, incidentally. But of course, it always takes a mega-star to make anything cool. Why else were Juicy track suits in style for a good two years?

Though after watching Lady Gaga in a dreadful interview (where she cites her sole determining criteria for picking a mate as a “big dick”), her lure became apparent: people are boring, and they’re also bored. And record company execs (being the master strategists that they are) know this quite well. Why not give us a watered down Madge? Pop music needs something, and that something certainly isn’t Miley Cyrus. Of course she’s going to continue to say calculatedly audacious things (and not wear pants)– what else is there for her to do? Granted, she’ll never play the role as Madonna, but who could? It’s all still such great publicity. Because in spite of whether or not I like her, I’m still sitting here typing away about the woman. So she may be a re-packaged, less exciting version of things we’ve seen a million times before, but hey Lauren Conrad didn’t have to do anything but be painfully dull to become a “fauxcialite”.